Nepean ON — A study out of the University of Ottawa has revealed that the child gazing into your soul as you eat those Lays Sour Cream and Onion chips is not doing it because they love you as previously thought. As it turns out, the kid is using telepathic communication to let you know that they wouldn’t mind a small handful or two.
Most times adults will mistake the telepathic thoughts as just feeling uncomfortable that a child is staring at them and look away and pretend they don’t notice. This is when a child will tell you that they like chips. Everybody loves chips meaning there must be some ulterior motive going on because nobody just tells you that they like chips out of the blue.
Now science has the answer. When the hypnotic stare doesn’t work, the child panics and casually mentions that they like the given snack. Since they are young, their brain hasn’t developed enough to know when they should just use the magic words. What happens when even that doesn’t work? Research now says this is where emotions take complete control of the body and the child breaks down screaming and yelling that they want some.
Naturally, most parents know that this is when you give them some damn chips so that they shut up. Eventually, this behaviour should come to an end for most people but for the small percentage that ends up with undeveloped brains, they can join the People’s Party of Canada and throws rocks and swear their frustrations away.