Toronto — As the vaccine passport system begins today in Ontario, one of our sources has informed us that the young woman who just asked if you wanted butter on your popcorn did not ask for any of this. You know the whole vaccine receipt request thing, where you show that you are vaccinated and then show ID to prove that it’s you — 100% not her idea. We understand that you are very excited to see Clint Eastwood’s latest movie Cry Macho on the big screen and that she and her friends are totally ruining your experience but she was busy buying school supplies when they made this decision.
Apparently, she would rather not even have to do it but she does it because her only other alternative is quitting. If she could just sit there and listen to your jokes about the price of popcorn, she would take that offer in a second.
Our source also tells us that she doesn’t really have time to listen to your opinion on the matter anyway because she needs to print off your ticket to see the movie and also wait for you to decide which style of M&M’s you want. We totally get that the last time you were ID’d to see a Clint Eastwood movie, you were a young-looking 18-year-old and he was playing a guy named Coogan.
This is 53 years later now and we are in a pandemic. Get your popcorn, show your “passport” and go see Cry Macho. There are other people already in there dying to talk about what they just had to go through as well.