Mount Royal, Quebec — Dollarama Inc. reported second-quarter profits of $146.2 million after you quickly ran in to grab a cheap birthday card and walked out with a lifetime supply of everything. This is up slightly from the same quarter last year when you were full of hope of a better year and could show a little restraint.
You probably didn’t need the iPhone charger because you have a Samsung phone but for $4.00 it would be silly not to buy it in case you ever make the switch. After you filled up the cart with bathroom supplies, living room decorations, and a $3.00 hammer, they expect you to stand in line surrounded by chocolate bars. You spent that much, why not grab some buttercups?
Profits are steadily increasing and the third-quarter earnings are expected to be even higher because you forgot to buy the damn birthday card and need to run back in the next time you drive by. Oh and while you’re there you might as well buy batteries for the smoke detectors because daylight savings time ends in eight weeks.