Toronto ON — “I can’t believe they just left me here, I hope Ford Nation doesn’t think I abandoned them,” Doug Ford said while maneuvering his way through the vast jungle.
He was told by members of the federal Conservative Party that they were just going for a quick lunch. The next thing he remembers is waking up in a jungle with a map and a note explaining that the map will guide him home. With no Blackberry, he has no way to tell his followers that he is lost and won’t be able make any public appearances for a while. He knows the optics of him being gone during a pandemic are not good so it is imperative that he gets out of the damn forest.
Meanwhile back in Ontario, many people think he is hiding to avoid any negative press after an awful past couple of months. Some even suggest that he is hurting the federal conservatives with his failings in dealing with the pandemic. The truth is simply that he is not hiding. He is lost, in a jungle and doesn’t want to be lost in a jungle.
According to the map, at the pace he is moving he should make it home exactly one day after the federal election barring any snake attacks or other jungle hazards.