1. Teachers’ Union Head Slams March Break Delay – The union head has slammed so many things it is starting to get cauliflower ears.
2. Ex-Governor General Julie Payette’s Legal Bills Nearly Topping $250,000 – Mostly due to the lawyers having to spend hours picking up the papers she whipped off the table as she called them incompetent , useless morons.
3. Tim Hortons Annual Roll Up Contest To Stay Digital – This may have pushed fresh cracked eggs out of the #3 spot for most exciting news at Tim Hortons this year. Bolder dark roast and a chef still in a distant lead.
4. Food Giant Nestle To Launch Vegan KitKat Chocolate Bar – Not surprising from a company who has been getting people to yell out “ give me a break” for decades
5. Canada Needs To Start Planning For A Third Wave Now – Let’s not get too far ahead of ourselves. We’re still planning for the first wave.
6. Canada’s Pfizer Vaccine Shipment Delayed By Winter Weather – Justin Trudeau is frantically asking his aides why everyone is calling him Winter Weather
7. Justin Timberlake Apologizes to Britney Spears, Janet Jackson – Yet still has not shown a single ounce of remorse for N’Sync?
8. Story About Florida Man’s Making A Guitar Out of Uncle’s Skeleton Appears To Be A Hoax – As it turns out it was just a naked Keith Richards playing a see-through guitar.
9. Roseanne Barr: Coronavirus A Conspiracy To ‘Get Rid Of My Generation’ – After that generation is gone, they will rename this generation the Connors she continued.
10. Drinking Alcohol Won’t Affect COVID-19 Vaccine Efficacy, Doctors Say – But it’s not all good news as it may cause you to think deep frying potatoes is a good idea at 2am