BELLEVILLE ON — Sitting forefront against a group of other similar trees, one potential Christmas tree is really starting to get annoyed by everyone staring at it. The tree felt compelled to issue a statement after so many close calls.
Many have come, some have even hugged me while holding measuring tape to measure my length and girth. An untold number of people have said I was perfect and that I will look good in their living room, with some people even pulling out their money to pay for me. Sure I have a little bit of an odour but I have been cut off at the roots and forced to lay against these other guys for two weeks, how would you smell? I’m rotting in front of you. You know that coming in here, so please don’t stare, point, prod, measure and snap off my twigs if you have no intention of buying me.